


Avengers Assemble:\ ... for Karaoke?

by LaBelleIzzy



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Crack, Karaoke, Multi, On Hiatus, Silly, Singing, Team Bonding, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-22
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-01-02 07:35:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 15,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1054168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaBelleIzzy/pseuds/LaBelleIzzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony gets an idea. A wonderful, AWFUL idea... </p><p>And all that's needed is a programming genius...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A wonderful, awful idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah Tony. Tony, Tony, Tony. =)

Tony Stark thinks he can't carry a tune in a bucket. (though he is, in this respect, completely wrong.)

This is partly why he loves metal bands: he plays the albums loud enough that nobody can hear him singing along, if he chooses to sing. (He's not WORRIED someone will make fun of his voice, because he KNOWS that if, say, Barton were to come to the workshop, there'd be no question: he WOULD talk smack.) But there are times when even the most obscure Scandinavian metal bands can't help him focus... In those rare moments Tony requires silence in the workshop instead of overwhelming noise.

Which is how he happened to notice Bruce's quiet, (though perfectly on key, Tony notices enviously) repetitive, musical humming.

At first, Tony's irritated: can't Bruce tell that silence is needed here? 

But then the tune starts to seem familiar, and Tony feels like it's an older song, not OLD old, but from when Tony was a teenager... He flashes back to that one memorable (and extremely juvenile, in retrospect) party at MIT with a cartoon theme. The hosts had had an EPIC bar, huge screen TVs playing classic cartoons ("what about the kaboom! There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom?") Undergrad science experiments and demos filled the backyard along with various pajama-clad undergrads, and some performance majors were fire-juggling, fire breathing, hula-hooping and dancing. He remembers that those giant TV's had some of the newer cartoons playing, too... Including one about an obnoxious trio of Disney knockoffs who lived in a water tower on a Warner Brothers back lot, and who sang ridiculously, wonderfully nerdy (and slightly familiar) songs about the world: …

Tony comes back to himself in the lab. Bruce... Is Bruce humming an Animaniacs song?!?

Tony blinks. This is unexpected.

If he'd given any thought to the question (which he hadn't really, because hey, Tony Stark, BUSY HERE) he would have pegged Bruce as a, you know, WORLD music fan. To hum something by Ravi Shankar or an Indonesian meditation chant...

This means Tony gets an idea. A wonderful, AWFUL idea... 

And all that's needed is a programming genius, a week's work, and unlimited access to streaming videos and music.

His eyes crinkle with glee. He can't WAIT to talk the Avengers into this.

 


	2. Cat-Herding The Science Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Steve talk about music, and Everyone learns about Tony's Wonderful, Awful Idea.

There are two things everyone learns about Jane and Darcy when they join what Fury sarcastically calls "the slumber party" at Stark Tower.

One is that Jane is exactly like Tony and Bruce as far as her obsessive immersion in research goes. And like the boys, she often has to be reminded to join the rest of the human race periodically, for prosaic things such as regular meals, showers, or sleep. Self-care can completely elude her notice for days on end, if Darcy doesn't come down to the labs and drag her out from time to time. Jane would exist on coffee, Red Bull, Skittles, Doritos and takeout, if Darcy didn’t remind her.

...Okay, remind THEM. Because instead of only managing the care and feeding of one oblivious scientist, Darcy has now taken it upon herself to manage all three of the obsessive brainiacs down in Stark's ("please, call me Tony!") ...okay, TONY'S shiny white and silver Labs OF SCIENCE. Darcy keeps the coffee station stocked, gets JARVIS to deliver a wide variety of those smoothies-in-a-bottle for the snack-fridge, and drops water bottles at all three workstations, because they’ll drink whatever’s near to hand when they are distracted, and they have to hydrate SOMETIME. She has also amassed a truly impressive collection of takeout menus from neighborhood restaurants, and she quietly takes notes on everyone's favorites, so at least Jane, Bruce and Tony are more or less eating regularly. Who knew geniuses needed to be babysat? (... don’t answer that.)

Two is that Darcy manages her own stress over what she calls "cat-herding the Science Club" by obsessively listening to or incessantly talking about music, to anyone in the Tower who will listen. But Steve is the one who listens most attentively. And he listens not just from politeness, but because he's really, actually interested in what she considers "awesome music" and "epic bands". Darcy has a rapid-fire, no transitions, non-sequitur-dropping storytelling style. She knows and shares all the dirt on all her favorite bands, not in a mean gossipy way, but in the way you tell stories about your weird relatives, the ones you love profoundly even when what they do makes you roll your eyes and grin.

Steve finds her music collection fascinating, but her enthusiasm is what keeps drawing him in. Darcy's taste is seriously all over the map. "Eclectic" is an understatement, and covers her far-ranging obsession about as well as a string bikini would cover the lady herself (not that Steve actually, um, dwells on that image, lovely though it would be *scratches head sheepishly*)...

Actually Steve finds himself learning as much about the new millennium he's stranded in from Darcy and her hilarious stories out of pop music history as he does from Tony's insistence on regular showings of classic films in the Tower’s huge, comfortable living room. Both have their appeal: Darcy works to convince him that even what she calls her "guilty secret" (her love for 90's boy bands) is worth exploring, and the team, or The Team, almost always fully Assembles (Steve's lips twitch in amusement at using the term so casually) for Thursday Movie Nights. Then again, the Team may simply assemble to see which questionably scientific science fiction flick Stark is going to attempt to convince everyone is a “classic”. Enthusiasm is one of Tony Stark’s defining characteristics, Steve muses to himself. He's like Darcy in that.

Just as he forms the thought, simultaneous phone notifications interrupt Darcy’s animated retelling of relationship drama in Fleetwood Mac. She looks annoyed, he feels concern, especially since the ringtone indicates a message from Tony. Unpredictability would be another defining trait of both Tony and Darcy, Steve thinks, a small smile quirking his lips. 

He and Darcy read the message together. Tony wants to do … a karaoke night? (Darcy explains the concept of karaoke to Steve, and a little of the history of Japanese culture as it gained popularity in North America during the 1980’s and 90’s.) 

The phones chime again, because now apparently Hawkeye is demanding to know the Rules of Engagement for Karaoke Night, which makes sense to Steve. Otherwise who knows what Stark will decree are the “winning conditions” in the heat of the moment...

Stark replies: “I’ve written code to make any song on iTunes, Youtube, Darcy’s iPod, or other sources available for team-bonding karaoke goodness (you're welcome, Darcy!). Anyone can earn bonus points for convincing teammates to be backup singers or dancers on their song. Bonus points will also be given for singing duets or multi part harmonies. You’ll get bonus points if you manage surprising the team or making everyone react with laughter or something else. JARVIS will track audience reactions and will be the scorekeeper, and the snarky bastard cannot be bribed, believe me, I've tried, so don’t even.”

Darcy’s psyched. She immediately thinks of three songs she wants to practice and, pointedly looking away from Steve, speculates on whether she can persuade any other Tower residents to sing with her… Steve thinks that public speaking and public *singing* feel like two very, very different things. Even just in front of the Team… very different.

And what does a man out of time sing, anyway?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the idea of Tony installing a personalized ringtone or notification message onto Steve's phone, but I couldn't decide what it should be.
> 
> What would Tony choose for Steve to hear whenever Tony sent a message? (keep it clean please, that pairing hasn't happened in this story)
> 
> (I do not own the MCU Avengers, I just like to play with the action figures.)
> 
> Also: Comments are love, and I'm new at this, so feel free to tell me what you like, help me tyop-wrangle, et cetera.
> 
> <3


	3. Natasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha considers this new karaoke plan of Tony's...

Karaoke, huh?

Natasha smirks.

The toughest part of this assignment would be deciding which slinky cocktail dress matched which pair of heels.

No, no, she thinks. It's not an ASSIGNMENT, it's more a team-building activity... but she can use work skills for this, and gets to actually choose her persona... which is, she'll admit, a nice change of pace.

Her teammates might be shocked to find out Tasha sings torch songs, and enjoys them. She's had to do this more than once as a mission cover, and she kind of loves hiding in plain sight, singing in the spotlight, or leaning on the piano...

The corners of her green eyes crinkle slightly as her smile gets a little wider.

This might be surprisingly fun, she thinks, walking toward her closet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I knew what song Tasha was going to sing, almost before I knew what songs Tony would pick.
> 
> =)


	4. Thor and Darcy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor is brought up to speed on the current shenanigans at Avengers Tower...

“Heeeeey, Thor!”

Thor’s expression shifts from a frown of concentration into a boyish grin as he looks up to see his friend leaning out from the doorframe, wiggling her fingers at him. He rises from the couch and takes quick strides across the floor. “Darcy! It is good to see you again!” She wraps her arms around him in a quick hug, patting his abs appreciatively.  
“You too, big guy. We’ve missed your particular kind of weird around here!” She leans back against his ginormous arm and grins at him over the top of her glasses.

“So have you heard of Stark’s new shenanigans?”  
Thor blinks. Even with the All-Speak’s assistance, his friends sometimes puzzle him. “Shenanigans?”

“I’ll take that as a no… So Tony wants to do a team-building thing like movie night, except instead of sitting and watching, we'll take turns singing in front of each other. It’s called karaoke.” Darcy pulls her tablet from her satchel. “Here are the rules, because Clint wanted to know how to know who 'won'.” She rolls her eyes expressively along with her finger-quotes.

The email from Tony says: “I’ve written code to make any song on iTunes, Youtube, Darcy’s iPod, or other sources available for team-bonding karaoke goodness (you're welcome, Darcy!). Anyone can earn bonus points for convincing teammates to be backup singers or dancers on their song. Bonus points will also be given for singing duets or multi part harmonies. You’ll get bonus points if you manage surprising the team or making everyone react with laughter, applause, or something else. JARVIS will track audience reactions and will be the scorekeeper, and the snarky bastard cannot be bribed, believe me, I've tried, so don’t even.”

Thor frowns. Darcy punches his shoulder lightly. “It’s okay, big guy. I’ve got you covered. I know you don’t know much about Midgardian music, but THAT is one subject area I have both deep and comprehensive knowledge of. If you tell me what you like to sing, I’ll help you find something in your range, something you’ll have fun with.”

“I would like to participate in this evening of singing. The skalds of Asgard sing the histories and battles of my people, and it would please me to learn the histories and battles of Midgard. However...” Thor frowns again.  
“What does it mean, ‘to be backup singers or dancers on their song’?”

Darcy grins wickedly. “I am gonna LOVE this part of your education.”


	5. Tony is not surprised that Bruce needs some persuading.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Really, it's Bruce who should take the credit for the idea, Tony thinks.

Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose with one hand as he pulls his glasses off with the other.  
“No, Tony, you will be waiting a lot longer than next Thursday if you “can’t wait to see what I’m going to sing at Karaoke night.””

Tony can hear the air quotes embedded in Bruce's quiet sarcasm, and his quick pacing around the lab stills, abruptly. He spreads his arms wide.  
“What are you saying? Are you trying to tell me that the VERY INSPIRATION for Karaoke Night is declining to participate? Brucie. Baby! You are the entire reason for the season!”

“No. No, no, no. Do NOT try to blame me for YOUR crazy idea! Tony, I don’t even SING.”

Tony’s gaze rises to the ceiling. “Hey, JARVIS. Jarv, back me up here?”

The AI’s mellow voice comes from the speakers: “Doctor Banner, I’m afraid that I do indeed have samples of your vocalizations during times of extreme focus during your research here in the labs. Perhaps you are not aware that you are singing, sir.”

Tony: “Exactly!” He beams like a toddler taking his first steps away from the coffee table.  
“Really, it’s All Your Fault. You, I might point out, sing perfectly on-key, which I, sadly do not, though I do sing enthusiastically and to excellent effect, and really, you have a gift. You should TOTALLY share it with the world.”

Bruce glares at Tony, who backpedals quickly.

“Or, I mean, you know, the Team, not really the world at all, it’s only a few of us, a dozen max if we can get Agent to sing, and hey, do you think we could get Agent to sing, or will he just sigh exasperatedly … again?”

Bruce turns his head sideways to look at Tony and raises one eyebrow in a hybrid Spock-like frown, fixing Tony with his gaze. Shaking his head, he sits up straight again and breaks eye contact.  
“Tony…” 

Bruce pulls out a handkerchief from the pocket in his purple shirt and starts cleaning his glasses.  
“Okay, listen. You didn’t listen when I told you to stop poking me with things in the lab, so I'm seriously asking you to listen to me now.”

Tony smirks. “Okay, I can listen. Hit me, Big Guy!”

Bruce snorts. “My point exactly. Me being anxious, angry, afraid? Bad idea. Tony, music is more like meditation for me, for focus and calming. It’s the white noise that helps me hold onto control.”  
He looks up. “Performance?”  
“No. Not performance. I’m not an extrovert like you, Tony. Never have been. And since the accident?”  
He takes a deep breath. “I... just, No.”

Tony cocks his head to the side and a thoughtful expression crosses his face.  
“Look, babe, we are all bringing SOMETHING to the party. As you are my inspiration here, I definitely want you to try this. It’s just US. Really, really and for true, it will be safe. I promise you that.”

“Tony, more than one or two people just LOOKING at me makes me anxious unless I’m problem-solving or in lecture mode. Explain science to Fury or Steve? Fine, or anyway, mostly fine. But I can’t imagine getting up on a stage, letting people watch me.”

“Babe, every single person who has clearance here OBVIOUSLY knows better than to say ANY damn thing to you that isn’t encouragement or applause. We all know how you are when you’re not Jolly Green or getting your Science! on…” 

Tony leans forward, planting his hands on Bruce’s lab desk. “So what I’m going to do here, is ask you to think about it. Just think about it. Team-building exercise, we’re ALL going to try this new thing.” He pushes himself upright again and starts pacing the lab again, rubbing his hand over his goatee. “Think of something fun, some kind of music you love…” he pauses for a moment.

Suddenly pivoting back toward Bruce, he waves his index finger like an orchestra conductor, clearly lost in a new idea.

“...and hell, if you don’t want even US looking at you, you could sing, or even chant or recite, I dunno, behind a screen? or in the dark? Whatever works so that you’re comfortable enough to at least TRY.”

“You really do have a good voice.” Tony claps Bruce on the back in a “buck-up” gesture, and turns to walk away, but pivots back again.

Banner’s eyes raise to meet Tony’s face, which is smirking.

“And anyway you know I’m going to poke at you till you agree to join in.”

Bruce’s long sigh gives the answer to the not-a-question, and his head tips sideways with a tiny lopsided smile. “Yeah. Yeah, I know.”

“All righty then.” And the smirk becomes a huge mischievous grin as Tony saunters out of the lab.

Bruce is left shaking his head, still with the tiny smile, and the germ of an idea in his head.  
Deep breath. He can do this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh, you lovely lovely people. I can't tell you how wonderful it feels to hear that someone has left kudos on this little yarn of mine.  
> *squee*  
> and really, it's the nicest kind of motivation a writer can get.
> 
> It's your fault that I actually sit down and finish knocking out each next part of this story. 
> 
> *is having a Sally Fields moment*


	6. and Six Months prior...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A drabble about how someone you trust can make a random comment and change how you see yourself.

The hot water hits the sides of the granite shower stalls and splinters into mist, filling the bathroom with steam.  
Tony's hair is sticking up in a faux-hawk like Ferris Bueller's, and he's in full retro-80's nostalgia mode, belting out at the top of his lungs:

" _Believe it or not, I'm... walking on air,_  
 _I never thought I could feel so free-eee-eee!_  
 _Flying away on a wing and a prayer..._  
 _Who could it be?_  
 _Believe it or not, it's just me!_

 _This is too good to be true..._  
 _Look at me..._  
 _Calling for you!_ "

Tony knows he's a gigantic cornball and pop culture junkie, but there's nobody here to snark at him or roll their eyes or say anything. So he's just going to keep playing air guitar in the shower and singing along with the theme song from a quirky little tv show he used to watch when he was a teenager. 

Thank goodness for JARVIS. If he weren't an AI, Tony would think it was an act of kindness and indulgence, how he responds to Tony's goofy moods by playing songs for him when he starts singing weird bits and pieces from his childhood... and thank goodness for the "electronic babysitter" of the early 1980's.

Tony grins. At least the Iron Man suit actually does what he tells it to, unlike William Katt's suit. Damn, that was a fun little show. Good times.

Snagging a towel from the warming rack, he flaps it gracelessly at the ceiling. "Thanks, JARVIS. You always know exactly what I need."

"But of course, Sir. May I point out that you are in particularly good voice today?"

Tony eyerolls at himself in the full length mirror as he dries off his back and legs. "Ah quit it, you lying thing that lies. Flattery won't get you that memory upgrade any faster."

"Sir, today your singing _was_ nearly pitch-perfect, particularly in the higher tenor range. I wouldn't lie about anything for which I can collect data."

Tony stops. "Huh." The idea visibly strikes him.

He slowly scratches the beard on his chin and tips his head to the side, looking up slightly at the ceiling. "JARVIS, let's have you continue collecting data. God knows I've taught myself how to do more finicky, complicated things. Maybe I CAN teach myself how to not-suck at carrying a tune."

"My thoughts exactly, sir, considering your enthusiasm for and exuberant practice of the activity..."

Tony wads up his towel and throws it at the nearest ceiling speaker, a crooked smile on his face.  
"Now how does an AI get to be such a snarky bastard...?"

"...the exercise is left for the student, Sir."

Tony laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for taking so long between chapters. I got hit really hard by the Winter Crud that's been roaming around here, and basic breathing was a challenge for almost three weeks.
> 
> Came back to my notes to realize I'd written quite a lot in my head without putting it into the Google Drive document, so now it's time to pull it out of my head and plonk it down here. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> oh: and For any of you who weren't around in 1981... =P  
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4JCehDOy54


	7. Clint and Pepper, clandestinely, in the hallway of Avenger's Tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint and Pepper arrive at an agreement and are both entirely amused.

“Pepper, hey there.”

Her grin is brief but sincere, and does reach her eyes. Clint thinks this is a good sign.

“Clint, how nice to see you. You’re looking quite fit! I take it you’ve recovered completely from the last Assemble?”

He almost-but-not-quite blushes as he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck. “Uh, yeah. The stitches are out and the scar hardly pulls at all anymore. I’m back on active duty, thanks for asking.” That was a truly embarrassing moment at the end of the last battle, thank fuck for Bruce and the Big Guy’s sense of timing… it would have been a lot worse.

“Actually, Clint, I’ve been meaning to ask a favor of you...” Pepper’s voice trails off and her smile is lopsided and a bit shy.

“Really? Huh, funny, I’ve been hoping to run into you to ask you a favor, too.”

She quickly glances behind her. “It’s about the Karaoke. I want to surprise Tony, he’s not expecting me to perform, but … he’s almost never heard me sing, and I used to be really good.”

Clint’s eyebrows go up, and he grins.

“I want to sing a duet,” continues Pepper, “and it would be absolutely delicious to have you as my partner, because I know you can snark with the best of them, and because I know you can keep a secret. I want to tweak Tony’s tail a little, do something I know he doesn’t expect.”

“Surprise!” Clint’s grin gets even wider.

“Exactly.” Pepper’s smile is sly and a little bit smug.

“Well, speaking of keeping secrets, my question was also about this Karaoke thing, and *I* was going to ask *you* if you would consider being one of my backup singers …. Largely because I know YOU can keep a secret, but *also* because I thought it would mess with Tony’s head.” He smirks.

She snorts. “Great minds think alike, eh?”

“Totally.”

“All right. It’s a deal.” She holds out her hand and he shakes it.

“Excellent.” Clint rubs his chin thoughtfully. “Let’s get JARVIS to schedule us some rehearsal time in the theater. Can’t believe how much work Tony has put into upgrading that space! It puts every concert venue I’ve seen in the shade.”

“Oh, and did you know,” she leaned in confidingly, lowering her voice, “that JARVIS has full control of lights, sound, stage configuration, video projection, and probably even more things I’m not even aware of?” 

Stunned, Clint thinks for a moment. Oh. OH! “Hey, JARVIS?”

The voice comes from the ceiling. “Yes, Agent Barton?”

“You? Are going to be the Best Roadie EVER!” Clint grins and doubles over as he fist-pumps.

The eyeroll is audible as JARVIS replies, “Yes, Agent Barton.” Clint laughs gleefully.

Pepper smiles at Clint’s enthusiasm, raising an eyebrow. “You realize we’re both making our performances, at least to some degree, all about Tony?” 

“YOU realize that’s got to have been part of his plan? He started off trying to impress all of US by creating a goddamn Universal Karaoke just for fun… because he COULD.” Clint throws his shoulders back and widens his stance, shifting his voice to a new pitch. “I’m Tony Stark, and I warped three laws of physics before breakfast today, what have YOU done lately?”

Pepper giggles behind her fingers. “Stand up comedy and celebrity impressions, Hawkeye, you are just WASTED as a secret agent.”

He smiles down and buffs his nails on his shirt. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pepper wants to sing a duet originally recorded by Smokey Robinson (an in-joke for those in the know) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocp_RJe3ci4)
> 
> Clint, well, you are going to have to wait to see what Clint wants to sing. =)


	8. Steve Rogers, Man With A Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a good thing Steve has been talking with Darcy.

Steve stands in front of his closet door, stroking his chin, pondering.

After several months of the Team all living near one another in the former Stark Tower (most New Yorkers are calling it Avengers Tower now) he feels he has a pretty good bead on his teammates. This Karaoke thing Tony's dreamed up seems like it will be ... interesting, and after an initial reluctance, Steve's decided to get completely on board with it. Him getting embarrassed on stage has already happened, in less friendly circumstances, for Pete's sake. 

At least, Steve's looking forward to seeing what his teammates dream up, and he's pretty sure he can make a decent showing himself. He expects to raise Stark's eyebrows at the very least.

Thank goodness for Darcy, who's been showing Steve around the modern cultural landmarks of his hometown (though less his home borough, she doesn't have much use for Brooklyn). He's been brought up to speed on the DIY culture for art, music, and dance in this Information Age. With the resources the Internet provides, even the smallest band can get exposure and build a fan base, and that means that more varied kinds of music are available for people to explore. Steve's found a real affinity for the songwriters and performers who take one kind of song, and give it their own special tweaks that transform it into something fresh and new. And Karaoke is a perfect format for Steve's first foray into that field.

Of course, he knows he has to dress the part. 

Steve's wardrobe is much friendlier to this adventure than it would have been, back when he was originally recovered from the Arctic circle and living at SHIELD. Tony has made certain that everyone has black tie and white tie for the fancy cosmopolitan socialite functions the Avengers keep getting asked to attend. Tony's tailor has also created some sharp business suits for everyone. Perhaps, Steve thinks wryly, he ought to call it business-wear as a generic term, since Darcy, Jane, Pepper, and Natasha have options other than suits (and Natasha keeps smacking Clint in the back of the head for any hint of sexist language. She hasn't done that to Steve, yet... Still, he does have to spar with Natasha twice a week, annoying her is just not smart).

He shakes his head to clear it and return to the matter at hand. Steve has choice in his wardrobe, more than he ever dreamed of. Clothes that you wear just because they are fun? Or to go to fancy dinners? Remembering his childhood, he thinks: here there is so MUCH choice. Almost too much. And then beyond what Tony has provided, his closet includes the recent haul from weekend trips to Darcy's beloved vintage stores in the outer boroughs. 

Just the memory of Darcy grinning up at him and holding a navy pinstriped suit up next to his face, helps him decide what he wants for the performance.

The sound of brassy horns and thumping bass rhythms from his old USO tour starts to echo in his mind as he hangs the suit up on the door, reaches for the lint roller, and thumbs his cellphone on with his other hand. 

"Agent Coulson? Yes, this is Captain Rogers. I wonder if you'd be willing to do me a favor, sir?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience, I have been battling more springtime crud and couldn't wrangle the muse to save my life.  
> Haven't even been blogging much. (labelleizzy.livejournal.com, if you're interested) 
> 
> I've signed up for the last season of LJ Idol, a writing contest sponsored over on LiveJournal, so I hope to get a lot more writing done on a more regular basis. Also I had an inspiration today and have managed to lay out the order of the rest of the chapters for this story, so I'm hoping to crank our more of this in an expeditious fashion.
> 
> Thank y'all for reading, for commenting, for kudos. It all makes me want to WRITE MOAR which is all kinds of good.
> 
> =D


	9. No one can say no to Darcy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What it says on the tin: Darcy uses varied powers of persuasion (though usually bribery with food) to maximize her potential fun on Karaoke night.

Darcy is REALLY looking forward to Karaoke Night. She is so excited she’s actually awake EARLY today.  
She bites her lip to keep from snickering as she heads down the hallway in Avengers Tower toward the team kitchen. She found the song a week ago, and has just about got her choreography worked out. Next up: she plans to use her exceptional cooking skills to bribe her friends into being her backup singers and dancers.

Darcy thinks it’s a good thing she has no shame. Life is a lot more fun like this. 

And: first target, acquired.

“Good morning, Miss Potts!” she sing-songs.

Peppers mouth gathers into a hybrid between _moue_ and wry smirk. “Good morning, Miss Lewis. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company at this time of day?” The clock on the stove reads 6:05 am, and usually Darcy isn’t out of her room before 8.

Darcy swings breezily past where Pepper is seated with her coffee and a StarkPad. “Oh, early bird catches the worm, kind of thing. Speaking of which, how do you like cheese and raspberry blintzes for breakfast?”

Pepper’s eyebrow arches slowly, and she lowers her coffee cup with a smile.  
“I would say that I like them a great deal, actually. Have you been talking to Tony?”

Darcy has the grace to pretend embarrassment at this, turning away slowly from the cabinet where she’s pulling a mixing bowl down.

“Well THAT depends on how one defines ‘talking to’ ” and Darcy actually makes the air-quotes with her fingers, “Most people would call what I did, ‘eavesdropping on’, actually…” as she continues assembling the Ingredients and Implements of Blintz Assembly (™).

Pepper emits a noise that in someone less naturally dignified would have to be called a snort.

“Yes, we do live with spies, diplomats, and strategists, don’t we?”

“I can’t help it if Barton and Romanov share tips out loud over the dinner table. I’m a quick study!”

Pepper and Darcy share a smirk.

“Well certainly, if you’re making cheese and berry blintzes, I’m not saying no… and feel free to help yourself to some of my coffee. It’s not Tony’s rocket fuel this time, it’s my favorite single origin Kona medium roast.”

“Dude. Oooh shiny, I am all over that, thank you! And Umm... Yeah, I had some of Tony’s coffee by mistake one morning two weeks ago, was still jittering when Bruce started dinner prep. I couldn’t even help slice the vegetables for curry! HOW Tony drinks that stuff I don't even KNOW!”

“Well, Tony runs at a higher octane than the rest of us.”

"I guess you could call him a high-performance vehicle, huh?"

Another shared smirk.

Darcy takes a quick sip of her coffee and starts blending the ingredients for the blintzes, glancing sideways at Pepper under her lashes.

Pepper serenely reads her email for a few moments and doesn’t look up before quietly saying, “You do realize if you’re going to ask me something, you have to use your words?”

Darcy’s answering grin is huge. “It’s that obvious that I’m buttering you up for something, isn’t it?”

Pepper’s eyebrow is eloquent.

Darcy leans over and puts her elbows on the kitchen island. “Okay, this karaoke thing that Tony’s got going, I’m really excited about it: I’ve got a great song, it’s going to be really fun choreography, and I know you’re like SPECTACULARLY overscheduled for every day of the week but…”

“Yes.”

“What? Wait, really? You don’t even know what song I want to sing!”

“Darcy, you are practically married to your iPod. Tony even mentioned it explicitly in the invitation to Karaoke night. I think I can trust you when it comes to “fun music”,” and Pepper adds her own air quotes with a grin.

Darcy bites her lip and grins, and offers a low high-five with wiggly fingers. Pepper rolls her eyes and meets Darcy halfway, after which Darcy pulls away with a snap. “Okay, excellent. I’ll talk to Natasha during my self-defense classes this afternoon, and Jane? Psssht. Jane will be easy.”

She bounces back to her blintz preparation; Steve comes round the corner and into the kitchen, wearing sneakers and exercise clothes. “Oh, blintzes? Mmmmm. Hey Darce?”

She flutters her eyelashes over her shoulder, “Yes, Steve?”

He grins. “Enough there for me?”

“Steven, when do I EVER make breakfast that’s not enough to feed a small army?”

“Point taken.” He grabs the orange juice out of the fridge and pours a large glass. Darcy likes to watch him covertly as he swallows, there’s no shame in ogling prime grade A American beef when it’s right there in your kitchen, as long as you don’t let the blintz start to burn in the pan, shitshitshit… Whew! caught it in time, heh. Awesome.

Deep breath. “Oh, Steve, are you still planning to do…” cuts eyes toward where Pepper is still sipping her coffee, “um, the thing with the thing?”

Steve smiles again. “That song we talked about? Oh yes. That’s a definite.”

“Good, because I want to help.”

He raises one eyebrow. “You sure?”

“Oh, definitely. I’ve got the dress and the shoes and everything… and yeah.” She grins and bounces at him.

“OK, great! Lets compare schedules for a run-through later, I’m free around lunchtime?”

Darcy schools her face to a neutral, mock-serious expression, and nods. “I will help you look GOOD, Steven.”

“Better than this?” His mock-proud gesture, with a raise of his chin, takes in the state of his sweaty running clothes.

“Oh PLEASE.” She rolls her eyes at him and flaps her hands. “Shoo, get out of my kitchen. Breakfast will be ready by the time you get cleaned up and presentable again.”

He nods and cocks his head sideways toward Pepper. “G’morning, Miss Potts!”

Pepper barely glances at him, “Good morning, Captain Rogers!” but cuts her eyes towards Darcy as soon as his sweatpants are clear of the doorway. The slowest, filthiest smirk Darcy has EVER seen sneaks around the edges of Pepper’s coffee cup, and her eyes crinkle with humor as she quickly winks at Darcy.

Darcy throws a kitchen towel at Pepper’s tablet. “Jeez, shut UP!!”

*+*+*+*+*+*

“Ow, I think I have bruises on my BRUISES.”  
Darcy flops down on the bench, wraps the towel around her neck, and grabs her water bottle.

“We must sharpen your claws still further, koshechka. Soon you will land as cleanly as the cat does.”

“Clearly you have not been watching thousands of funny cat videos on YouTube, Natasha. Some cats are regular failures at style and grace.”

“You will do better.”

“I will?”

Natasha’s smile is barely there. “Of course. Because YOU answer to ME.”

Darcy’s imagination stutters a little. She has to take a deep breath and look down in order to say calmly, “Well, the student will strive to be a credit to her teacher. And hey, the whole staying alive when the next alien invasion or whatever happens, that would be a nice bonus.” Darcy looks back up, rotates her neck and shoulders. “So are you ready to blow us all away at Stark’s karaoke night next week?”

Natasha relaxes against the back of the bench. “Of course. And you?”

“Actually, I was hoping you could do me a favor…” Darcy starts, as Clint walks in the door of the gym, and then yells, “Hey BARTON, get over here!” Clint gives a lazy wave and changes direction, ambling toward them and the benches.

“Natasha, I wanted to ask you, um... would-you-sing-backup-with-me-for-karaoke?” The words tumble out in a nervous rush. “It’ll be great, you and Pepper can be all dignified and stylish, and Jane and I will be goofy, and it will be mostly silly but it should be a lot of fun. Please?”

“Oh, Nat isn’t going to be one of the goofy ones? Are you sure you ain’t miscasting…?” Clint grins, dodges and cringes theatrically from Natasha’s mock-glare.

“I’ll make the Russian wedding cookies the next time I bake?”

Natasha zeroes back in on Darcy, almost-startled. “You need not do that, doushenka. I will come out and play.” A slight smile again. “Though I would not mind cookies with my tea this week. Thank you.”

Clint plops down bonelessly on the bench next to Darcy and bumps her with his shoulder. “You gonna offer me delicious baked goods too?”

“Sheah, right. Because I’M the one doing YOU the favor? Nuh-uh. You can wait for your bribe just like everyone else. Although…” Darcy considers. “You wanna plan ahead for the next one?”

“You think there’s gonna BE a next one?”

“Have you SEEN how much fun everyone’s having putting this thing together? I hear even Bruce has something planned.”

Clint’s eyebrows go up. “Huh. Well, yeah, all right. You in, Tash?”

Darcy receives Natasha’s eyebrow with a good grace. “For the next song, I want to do more involved choreography. A kind of couples dance, sort of like when the two of you spar? Only more playful.”

Natasha considers. “Will it be another silly one?”

“Yeah, you’d call it silly, but you can be as arch and disdainful as you wanna be, and Clint will be… Clint, it’ll totally work!”

“I’m… Intrigued...” says Natasha, archly. Clint snorts.

“Yes!" She points at each of them excitedly. "Exactly like that!” says Darcy.

“All right, kid, we’ll take it under advisement. Still, assuming there IS a next time…” Clint shrugs.

“Or a next time that’s not interrupted by wannabe archvillains or mutant pink slime creatures nomming on New York Harbor, or something. Yeah. Well. I live in hope!” Darcy’s face is cheerful. 

Barton pokes one of Darcy’s bruises. “Ow!” She shoves him, which does precisely nothing, and then pouts at him.  
“Humph.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, so *scratches head* If you've seen a pairing in this fandom, I've probably gotten on that ship at some point. But my brain really seems to like Darcy/Steve for this piece, and apparently still operating in some kind of Pepperony mode as well. Feeling the love for a Clintasha BroTP, and... we'll see how the rest of it falls out.
> 
> Concrit accepted, tyop-hunting actively welcomed.
> 
> Praise, flowers, baked goods and other tribute can be sent to my PO Box... *wink*
> 
> I am having so much fun with this, and I'm getting good encouragement from you folks. Thanks for that.


	10. Bruce asks for help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce asks for help, and there are unexpected results.
> 
> Inspired by the very excellent Discussions in Dynamic Relationships (http://archiveofourown.org/works/863401) by scifigrl47.
> 
> I recommend reading that story before reading this chapter.

From: B.Banner@avengersinitiative.org  
To: Ross.Bet@culver.wva.edu  
Re: Trying something new

Betty,

...I’m sorry. No, you have to let me say that this time, because I _am_ sorry, and because it has been so very long since I could actually say it to your face. And I know that you know that is only one of many reasons I have for apologizing to you, so please allow me to say it.

Thank God for Jane, really. If she hadn’t been at that conference with you, and spoken to you, I would never have had the courage to start this email.

I’ll be brief: I am planning to do something new and, *inhale* it seems more than a little crazy and out of character for me. *exhale* I was hoping I could talk with you, ask for some moral support and some feedback? Before you ask, yes, it is all Tony Stark’s fault, no, it’s nothing that The Other Guy is going to get involved in.

It’s just me over here, biting my nails and trying to imagine how the hell I’ve let Tony talk me into this damn thing.

It was so incredible to hear from you, after so long.  
I have missed you.

Let me know,

Bruce

______

From: Ross.Bet@culver.wva.edu  
To: B.Banner@avengersinitiative.org  
Re: Trying something new

Bruce,

Of *course* I am willing to talk to you.  
I am reassured that whatever you want to talk about is nonurgent enough that you can take the time to write an email. How time-sensitive are your questions? Would you like to take this to IM? I have a secure IM client, especially since SHIELD has started calling me in for occasional consultations.

We could have a proper chat, although it must be a brief one today, I’m teaching a class at 3.

Yours,  
Betty

______

From: B.Banner@avengersinitiative.org  
To: Ross.Bet@culver.wva.edu  
Re: Trying something new

Betty,

Fairly time-sensitive, tomorrow at dinnertime is one of the deadlines, and my (completely unreasonable, I know) anxiety is spiking. Again.

IM address is doc.banner@avengersinitiative.org. (that one is either Barton or Romanov’s fault, I didn’t get to pick my own address, I’m not totally clear on why.)

Bruce

______

 

**SECURE MESSAGING PROTOCOL INITIATED**

 

(1:54 p.m.)  
Ross.Bet Hello, Bruce. =)  
(1:55 p.m.)  
doc.banner Betty. Um, hey, thanks. I hope I’m not getting in the way of your lecture preparation.  
Ross.Bet Ridiculous man.  
Ross.Bet As though I’m going to worry about that when one of my dearest friends asks me for help.  
Ross.Bet This is one of the undergrad lectures anyway, I can do them in my sleep.  
(1:58 p.m)  
doc.banner Okay, that’s good to hear. I don’t want to be a bother...  
doc.banner ...and I remember what you usually said when I said that, but I don’t know how to begin.  
Ross.Bet Why don’t you start with why “it’s all Tony Stark’s fault”?  
Ross.Bet This should be good.  
Ross.Bet I’ll get all the best superhero gossip well before the Daily Bugle for a change…!  
(2:01 p.m.)  
doc.banner … I can’t believe you just said that.  
Ross.Bet *smirk*  
doc.banner … Okay… *deep breath*  
(2:02 p.m.)  
doc.banner Tony’s gone and written some code and he’s convinced the rest of the team to participate.  
(2:04 p.m.)  
Ross.Bet Participate in what?  
doc.banner Tony wants the team to have a Karaoke competition.  
(2:06 p.m.)  
Ross.Bet … *blink* Oh.  
doc.banner … exactly.  
(2:07 p.m.)  
Ross.Bet And you? Are participating?  
Ross.Bet You must have a great deal of trust for the members of your team.  
(2:08 p.m.)  
doc.banner I’ve been realizing lately that yeah. Yeah I do.  
(2:09 p.m.)  
doc.banner Kind of a new thing for me.  
Ross.Bet Understatement.  
doc.banner Yeah.  
(2:11 p.m.)  
Ross.Bet Could I... Could I meet them someday?  
Ross.Bet Obviously I already know that they are exceptional people, but that you TRUST them, like that?  
(2:12 p.m.)  
Ross.Bet Amazing.  
doc.banner *rubs back of neck*  
(2:13 p.m.)  
doc.banner I... I was actually thinking that I would ask you to join us for dinner tomorrow night.  
Ross.Bet I would immediately say yes, of course.  
Ross.Bet you've been hiding from the world for a very long time, Doctor Banner.  
Ross.Bet *wink*  
(2:14 p.m.)  
doc.banner Oh, oh good. That's... Good.  
Ross.Bet It's like you said, Bruce. It has been entirely too long. And I've missed you, too.  
(2:16 p.m.)  
Ross.Bet If it's all right with you, I think I should come over an hour or so before dinner.  
Ross.Bet Perhaps you can show me around this Tower of yours. And I'm dying to see the labs.  
(2:17 p.m.)  
doc.banner ...I think that could be arranged. *smile*  
(2:19 p.m.)  
Ross.Bet Ooh, I hope my security clearance is enough for me to visit the Tower...?  
doc.banner *checks* No, you're fine.  
(2:20 p.m.)  
doc.banner More than fine, actually, you're stupendous. *smile*  
Ross.Bet Bruce Banner, is that a compliment?  
(2:21 p.m.)  
Ross.Bet *huge grin*  
Ross.Bet Ridiculous man.  
(2:23 p.m.)  
doc.banner Betty, it will be so incredible to see you.  
doc.banner I can't even put it into words.  
(2:25 p.m.)  
Ross.Bet That's fine. You can put it into the hug I'll be giving you tomorrow night.  
(2:26 p.m.)  
Ross.Bet Tomorrow night...  
Ross.Bet wow.  
(2:27 p.m.)  
doc.banner ... Yeah. Wow.  
(2:30 p.m.)  
doc.banner Tomorrow, does around six work for you?  
doc.banner Team dinners are usually around 7:30, and it's, um, Hawkeye's turn to cook.  
(2:31 p.m.)  
doc.banner He's making his "world-famous veggie lasagna".  
doc.banner The quotation marks are Tony's, but Clint's lasagna is really delicious.  
doc.banner One of the only ways Tony willingly eats vegetables.  
(2:32 p.m.)  
Ross.Bet I'll be there at six precisely.  
(2:33 p.m.)  
doc.banner Okay, good. Great. Good.  
(2:34 p.m.)  
doc.banner Meet you in the Lobby, we'll get you a guest badge, and I'll bring you up.  
(2:35 p.m.)  
doc.banner Okay.  
Ross.Bet Okay. *smile* Must scramble now, to get to class on time...  
(2:36 p.m.)  
Ross.Bet It will be much harder than usual to focus on my lecture, now that we've spoken again at last.  
Ross.Bet ... And don't you DARE try saying that you're sorry.  
(2:37 p.m.)  
doc.banner Okay... Tomorrow?  
Ross.Bet Tomorrow. See you then! *quick hug*  
(2:38 p.m.)  
Ross.Bet *dash*  
(2:39 p.m.)

**SECURE MESSAGING PROTOCOL DISENGAGED**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know Betty Ross in canon very well. I've only run across her ages and ages ago in the Bixby/Ferrigno Incredible Hulk, when it originally ran, well before my teenage years. So I've got a mental image of her which I have yet to cast: Longish dark very curly hair, some grey threads through it (similar to Mark Ruffalo's but darker), trim figure but curvy not really slim, tends toward practical clothes with one or two very brightly colored accents; a scarf or headband or bright bracelet. Haven't seen either of the Hulk films at this stage, though they are definitely on the list.
> 
> I love and adore how Ruffalo plays Banner in the Avengers. Absolutely perfect characterization, as far as I am concerned.
> 
> ScifiGrl47's story linked above is completely headcanon for me, with regards to both Betty and Bruce. Her Clint and Jane are perfect as well. 
> 
> Culver University (in West Virginia) doesn't exist outside the Marvel universe, as I discovered after about two hours of research, so I invented Betty's email address. I loved figuring that little detail out.


	11. Dinner and drawing straws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betty comes to dinner, the Avengers "draw straws", Hawkeye stacks the deck.

Bruce is assembling salad in the kitchen and Betty is laying out place settings on the huge dinner table when Tony Stark saunters into the common room.

"Ah, Doctor Ross, I presume?"

"Yes, and please, you can call me Betty." She smiles and takes his offered hand. 

He offers, "Tony." He holds her hand briefly and squeezes gently before relinquishing it. For a change, there's nothing but honest admiration on his face. "Good to meet you at last!"

"It's good to be here. Your labs are truly remarkable! My whole department back at Culver would be green with envy, Tony. You have a remarkable flair for design."

Tony's head tips to one side, and he grins. "Hey Banner!" he calls into the kitchen. "Your girlfriend has excellent taste!"

Bruce immediately steps out from the kitchen, a worried look on his face. "Tony, you know we talked about... Oh. I see what you're doing." Bruce snags a kitchen towel and is drying his hands as he comes into the room.

Betty knows, and walks to his side. "Doctor Banner, it's as good a term as any, don't you bother yourself about it." She leans up and puts a light kiss on his cheek, which proceeds to pinken slightly.  
"In the meantime," she wags her finger theatrically at Tony, "you sir, design flair be damned, can quit teasing Bruce tonight!" 

As Tony chortles, Bruce blushes even more, ducks his head and quickly returns to the kitchen.  
The team slowly filters into the dining area, drawn by the aroma of tomato sauce, cheese, and oregano from Clint's signature dish. Everyone greets Betty and each one spends a few moments in conversation with her.  
As everyone is seated, Clint (wearing huge alligator-mouth oven mitts and the novelty apron Tony got him last Christmas) triumphantly bears a giant casserole dish in from the kitchen.

"Don't worry, Cap, Thor, there's more where this came from!" He waggles his eyebrows at the two blond giants on the far side of the table; one grins hugely, one blushes and then grins.  
Clint carefully places the hot dish on the stone trivets at the table's center, flops the oven mitts onto the side table, and whips off his apron, raising a glass in a toast.  
"Good food, good friends, let's eat! ...before some other idiot's monsters try to chew on the harbor district again. Cheers!" Clint slides into his seat and starts to dish out generous slices of lasagna as everyone passes their plates to him.

The salad, garlic bread, wine and sparkling water are making their way around the table, as Clint says, "So Tony, Karaoke on Thursday, right?"

The question, deliberately timed, catches Tony with a huge mouthful of lasagna. He raises an sardonic eyebrow and chews deliberately for several beats before answering, raising a glass in salute. 

"Yeah, Thursday. That all right with you, Katniss?"

"Oh yeah, it's peachy. Considering I intend to wipe the floor with you, there's no problem whatsoever." Clint grins behind his wineglass as Tony glares back at him, and Natasha's lips curl slightly as some of the others exchange glances. "I just wanted to know how are we determining the order of performance. And you, being the ringmaster of this particular circus, probably have some ideas."

Steve says, "I thought we were going to ask JARVIS to randomly select the order of performance?"

"See," Clint snarks, "While I totally trust JARVIS, I'm not sure I trust Tony."

JARVIS's mellow voice saying, "I'm ... flattered, Mr. Barton..." is overlaid with Tony's explosive and indignant "HEY!"

"Just yanking your chain, Iron Dude, just yanking your chain."

Tony's eyes narrow and he shoots a laser-glare at Clint who is seated directly opposite him, lounging in his chair at the foot of the table. "I suppose you have a better suggestion?" glancing suspiciously around the table.

"Dice!" Darcy pipes up from the middle of the table. "I could go get some now from the games closet?"

Pepper brings some reason. "Darcy, let's finish dinner first and clean up after, and then if everyone's amenable?" There are murmurs and nods from all assembled. "We can roll to see who goes first. Fair?"

Tony's still cranky, and grumbles, "See if I modify your tac vest anytime soon, Legolas." But they all know he doesn't mean it. Fixing their stuff is how Tony takes care of the team. But he turns and pointedly strikes up conversation with Betty and Bruce until dinner winds to a close.

As the Avengers clear the dishes and pans out to the kitchen, Darcy heads for the games closet and rummages to find the board games with dice included. "Wiktory!" she crows as she returns to the table, handing the dice to Clint.

"Why does he get to go first?" Steve inquires, curious.  
Darcy shrugged. "He cooked dinner." Steve smiles, and shrugs back.

Clint accepts the dice and says nonchalantly, "We'll just pass these around the table, and everyone can roll. How about lowest score goes first in the show, highest score last?" Tony's still grumbling and sulking, but the table reaches general agreement.  
Clint rolls double sixes. "Boxcars! Well, damn! I guess I'll just have to go last."

He passes left. "Tasha?"  
Romanov takes both dice in her left hand, pauses and is still a moment. The dice drop before anyone can notice she's released them.

"Two ones. Snake-eyes." She smiles thinly. "It looks as though I will be performing first."

"At least you'll get it over with quickly!" says Darcy, accepting the dice from Natasha.  
She rolls. "Ah. Lucky number seven!" She grins, and passes the dice to Bruce.

Bruce takes the dice gingerly into both hands. After a pause and a quiet indrawn breath, he looks slantwise at Betty, and silently offers her his cupped hands with the dice.  
She grins mischievously, leans over, and blows on the dice.  
Tony snorts, amused. "Luck be a lady tonight!"  
Bruce shakes the dice briefly in his cupped hands and rolls them forward. A three and a one.

He collects them, passes them to Betty, who passes them to Tony. Tony raises an eyebrow at Betty and offers the dice in his cupped hand, she smirks and eyerolls at him. He shrugs, philosophically. He offers the dice to Pepper on his other side, she smacks his shoulder lightly and says, "Get on with it, big spender!"  
He shakes them quickly in his fist, casting the dice in a perfect line down the length of the table. Clint backstops them. "Hey, hey, big fella, we ain't in Vegas here! Two and three, for five. Looks like you'll follow the Doc."

Clint flicks the dice one at a time at Pepper, on Tony's left. She fields each one with an economical movement, and rolls without a pause. "Four and five, I've got nine." She passes to Steve.  
He rolls for "Eleven, I'll be just before Clint then."

Jane ducks her head slightly and passes the dice to Thor, saying, "I'm sorry, everyone, I'll get something ready the next time we do karaoke." Tony and Bruce nod. Apparently they know what Jane's working on, and how deeply she's mired in The Science.

Thor rolls. A one and a two. "I shall sing after the lovely lady Natasha." He bows his head to her and grins. "May the best warrior win!" Natasha lifts her chin slightly, with a subtle glint, and Darcy wonders what Bad Things might happen to Thor the next time Widow spars with him...

Thor passes the dice to Phil, whose poker face is the best of anyone's, and he returns the dice to Clint without comment, completing the circle.

Betty muses aloud, "So, the order goes, Natasha, Thor, Bruce, Tony; Darcy, Pepper, Steve, then Clint." Bruce smiles quietly. 

Tony claps his hands. "All right people, we know what's up, performance in two days. I expect each of you to blow me away. Intermission halfway through? So everyone can recover from my awesomeness, of course..." he says, grinning, to smirks, groans, and eyerolls all around the table. "JARVIS, make sure everyone has time for a final rehearsal in the theater, would you buddy?"

"Of course, Sir."

Everyone disperses to evening activities usual to a non-emergency night at home. Bruce walks Betty to the elevator.

"I had fun tonight," she offers.  
"I'm so glad," Bruce replies.  
"They are... a bit MUCH, aren't they? But wonderful, nonetheless."

Bruce smiles slightly again, and takes her hand. "You have no idea. Things here are crazy. Sometimes Barton and Stark get into prank-wars. And Romanov and Barton play tag through the ventilation systems. Darcy likes to cook, which is normal except the sheer SCOPE of the thing is terrifying. Jane is just BRILLIANT. And Tony is chaotic AND brilliant, Steve is, well, much younger than I would have expected, and Thor is... so very Thor." The elevator doors open, they've reached the lobby.

He pauses, and looks down at the hand he's holding.  
"Will you come on Thursday?"  
She smiles and reaches out to run her fingers through the grey hairs at his temples.  
"Did you think you could keep me away?"

He lifts his head quickly, and catches her brilliant smile.  
"Ridiculous man." She leans in and kisses his cheek, and now he's smiling just a bit. He looks calmer, and more hopeful, than she thinks she's ever seen.

"Let's get me a taxi at the concierge desk. OK? I'll come early on Thursday again, meet you for dinner."

"Yeah. Yeah, that'd be good."

They walk, hand in hand, to the concierge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember y'all, Clint Barton is Circus Folks, and he knows things... *grin*


	12. The Curtain Goes Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first performance of Avengers' Karaoke night sets the bar pretty high for everyone else.  
> But these are people for whom excellence is par for the course.

The theater lights are at 50%, but the plush fabric covering the luxury chairs and loveseats in the audience space is still rich and lovely in color to Darcy's eyes. She trails her fingers over the armrest and marvels at how this is her life now: heroes, assassins, and geniuses as friends and companions, and everyone is daring to try something new tonight. She slowly shakes her head in wonder as she watches her friends trail in and take the other chairs and couches that are angled toward the stage.

Tony flashes her a quick grin as he flings himself into the loveseat at her left, nearest Darcy's chair. Thor and Jane settle into the next couch over, Thor's arm around her shoulders and Jane's bright smile as she briefly leans her head on his chest before continuing some kind of argument with Tony. Bruce has curled up in a comfortable wingback in the corner with his tablet, and Betty's taken the chair next to him. Steve's just come in and settled down on one end of the long couch behind her, (there's nobody she'd rather trust at her back) and Clint is perched on the back, at the other end of that long couch, leaving space for Natasha in between, Darcy assumes. There are still spaces free for Coulson and for Pepper, who Darcy can't wait to perform with.

The stage itself is dark, with only a faint illumination showing a hint of stairs sloping toward the back of the stage. Is that Upstage or Downstage, Darcy wonders? The three credit elective in Theater Arts at Culver feels like a very very long time ago. 

The audience lights are just starting to dim when Pepper slips into the room and joins Tony on his loveseat, followed by Phil, with a glint of amusement breaking his Agent Coulson face. He takes the free space on the couch between Steve and Clint, nodding at each of them.

+++++

Natasha's spotlight hits her with an audible click from the dark. At the top of the stage stairs, she stands, back to the audience, just the tip of one wickedly red pump peeking out at the hem of her floor length gown, perfect waves of hair spilling back over her shoulder. The unforgiving light of the key spot has cast harsh black shadows across the stage, outlining luscious curves caressed by the tiny scrap of the most gorgeous, clingy, shimmering red dress Darcy has ever seen. 

Natasha is apparently above the rule that redheads shouldn't wear pure red because DAMN. Darcy can almost hear the rest of the team pick their jaws up off the floor. She glances to her far left, where even Jane is dumbfounded, and Thor is frankly admiring.

She hears a faint whisper, sibilant sounds carrying, from behind her where Clint is sitting. In the scant seconds of Natasha's dramatically held pose, she hears Clint, almost quietly enough to be inaudible, whispering: "holy fuck she pulled it off. Holy BALLS, she pulled it off! This is gonna be epic!"

Darcy has just enough time to glance back to see Hawkeye's expression. He's perched on the back of his overstuffed armchair, holding both hands over his mouth as if that's the only thing that will keep his mouth shut during the performance itself, and there's a gleeful and maniacal gleam in his eyes.

Hawkeye shuts up though, the instant Natasha starts to bring the microphone up from where she casually clasps it, arm relaxed by her hip. Into the silence of the team's perfect attention, she turns her head to meet the mic, and her hair shifts slightly, uncovering a creamy shoulder and showing that her dress is definitely backless and Oh My God. Darcy bites her lip. That dress must be illegal in several states...

Tasha starts to sing, low and confident:

Birds flyin' high, you know how I feel  
Sun in the sky, you know how I feel  
Breeze driftin' on by, you know how I feel  
It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me.  
Yeah, it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me, ooooooooh...  
And I'm feelin' good.

And then the downbeat, as the incredibly rich low horns set Natasha's foot tapping. And Darcy groans inaudibly, because a sliver of creamy smooth thigh peeks out from the up-to-there slit along the side of the dress with Every. Single. Click. of those incredible scarlet stilettoes. She mentally throws her hands in the air, concedes defeat, and decides to just enjoy the show.   
There would be no comparison with Natasha, she was peerless in so many ways... But who knew she could sing like THAT.  
DAMN.

Natasha pivots gracefully and starts down the stairs, singing the second verse, and Darcy's brain, she thinks, literally trufax shorts out. Because now the pure evil genius of Natasha shows itself. 

Know your audience, a performer's maxim, right? Well, it isn't (just) because her hips are swaying hypnotically or her perfect timing as she moves to the music...

That wavy red hair, artfully thrown over the shoulder. Those heels, and that sinfully amazing (or amazingly sinful) couture dress... The torch singing and all... Darcy glances left, seeing Tony's wide evil grin as he leans forward with interest and obvious glee. Bruce just looks completely poleaxed. And Jane’s reaction has already been noted, as has Clint’s… AUGH! The bastard KNEW she was gonna play this!

The woman has completely channeled Jessica Rabbit, the purest nerd catnip in all of popular culture.  
Jessica. RABBIT. 

Oh my god, Natasha is evil... and so very very good. Darcy wants to sit at her feet and say, "Teach me, Sensei!"

Darcy knows she will enjoy her own moment in the spotlight later, but for now, she will lose herself in the moment, this precious amazing moment, of this heart-stoppingly gorgeous and terrifyingly competent woman, crooning about ordinary life feeling good.

Ordinary?  
THIS life??

Not a chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Natasha's song: Nina Simone's Feeling Good: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5Y11hwjMNs


	13. Thor performs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor presents himself as kind of a simple guy at heart, the kind who likes drinking, flirting, and fighting.

Natasha has returned to the audience after changing her clothes (settled in catlike in one of the big overstuffed sofas), and the stage has been restored to a simple flat footprint with a suspended mike and a single spot.  
Clint thinks it looks like those slam poetry nights at the local coffee shop, except, you know, /nice/. The stage looks, y'know, expensive; well designed, and not cobbled together in twenty minutes by some baristas with delusions of theatre. 

Thor disdains the stairs in front of the stage and, I shit you not, leaps to the raised stage like the fucking rockstar he fucking is. Bro... Yeah. Clint shakes his head.  
Thor's dressed simply, for him, in boots, jeans, and button-down, with that million-dollar grin. For half a minute Clint thinks maybe Asgardian dentistry is magical too, and idly wonders whether there's any kind of exchange rate between Earth currencies and Asgardian... do they even USE money on Asgard? What would a million dollars look like there?  
He shakes himself out of it when he realized the big guy is speaking.

"Dear friends, comrades, shield-brothers and sisters (Darcy cheers, Thor tips his head toward her), it is my honor to join you in this evening of merriment, song, and story. With the assistance of the fair Lady Darcy (Darcy whoops again, and Thor grins), I hope I have found something to perform for you that is worthy of your time honored karaoke tradition.  
Thor casts his eyes toward the ceiling. "JARVIS, if you would be so kind?"

Audience lights dim, spot intensifies and gets bigger, framing all of his very tall blondness.  
A regular drumbeat begins, a catchy cadence of repeated triplets, intriguing and very obviously Irish.

 

"One, two, three, four, five  
Hunt the hare and turn her down the rocky road and all the way to Dublin, whack-fol-la-de-da!

In the merry month of June, From my home I started,  
Left the girls of Tuam, Nearly broken hearted,  
Saluted father dear, Kissed me darling mother,  
Drank a pint of beer, My grief and tears to smother,  
Then off to reap the corn, And leave where I was born,  
Cut a stout blackthorn, To banish ghost and goblin,  
In a brand new pair of brogues, go rattling o'er the bogs,  
Frightening all the dogs, On the rocky road to Dublin. 

One, two, three, four, five  
Hunt the hare and turn her down the rocky road and all the way to Dublin, whack-fol-la-de-da...

In Mullingar last night, I rested limbs so weary,  
Started by daylight, Next morning bright and early,  
Took a drop of the pure, To keep my heart from sinking, (a quick eyebrow is raised)  
That's the Paddy's cure, When he's on the drinking.  
See the lassies smile, Laughing all the while,  
At me darling style, 'Twould set your heart a-bubbling.  
(Thor shoots a wide flirty grin at Jane)  
Asked me was I hired, Wages I required,  
Till I was almost tired, Of the rocky road to Dublin. 

One, two, three, four, five  
Hunt the hare and turn her down the rocky road and all the way to Dublin, whack-fol-la-de-da..."  
  
Musical bridge, and Thor dancing athletically. Clint is definitely impressed: for such a big guy, Thor is remarkably light on his feet, if possibly not as acrobatic as Clint knows he is himself.

  
If he were a less charitable person, Clint thinks, he’d describe Thor’s singing as MUPPETLIKE. That hair flying everywhere, that ridiculously sincere enthusiasm, the head banging and overly expressive face... OK, the face not so much, muppets (Kermit excluded) frequently do not have much actual facial expression... the gigantic gestures and dancing, yes.  
But the guy is having SO much fun, how can a fella (even an embittered and lonely archer cum assassin) begrudge his fun? It's actually contagious.  
  
Clint finds himself leaning forward with a wry grin on his face and his elbows on his knees as he watches the show.  
This guy is, at the moment, like nothing “princely” Clint has ever heard of.  
He thinks of the British Royals and how they seem to always like that movie quote, “Dignity. Always dignity.”  
But Thor is just AWESOME, funny and serious and kind and always a little bit larger than life, with big loves and big anger and that goofy ass muppety smile of his.  
A guy could get a complex, you know, just saying.  
  
The next verse has begun while Clint has been enviously putting down his teammate's performance skills... Something about a bundle on a stick, getting stolen in the good part of town?  
He knows he's being petty and tries to let it go. Thor's a really great guy.  
For, you know, a PRINCE.  
Okay, STOP.  


(Damn, even Thor's shrugging is mighty)

"One, two, three, four, five,  
Hunt the hare and turn her down the rocky road and all the way to Dublin, whack-fol-la-de-da..."

And the next stanza, lots of leaping and dancing to go with the singing. Guy's got some pipes, Clint reluctantly admits.  
And some pretty good moves, and a movie star grin. Dammit.  


Thor is obviously spoiling for a fight by the time the next part of the song begins. His expressive face begins to darken through the course of the verse, his body language tightens like a man getting ready to strike or take a blow. He starts the next verse leaning forward in a bit of a crouch, eagerly:  


"The boys of Liverpool, When we safely landed,  
Called meself a fool; I could no longer stand it;  
Blood began to boil, Temper I was losing,  
Poor old Erin's isle They began abusing,  
"Hurrah my soul," sez I, Let shillelagh fly;  
Some Galway boys were nigh, Saw I was a hobbling,  
With a loud hurray, joined in the affray.  
Soon we cleared the way, O'er the rocky road to Dublin."

Thor is pantomiming mighty blows, and here Clint is VERY glad Tony convinced Thor to leave Mjolnir offstage, pointing out with exaggerated casualness the negative effect lightning has on the lighting and sound circuitry of his Tower's theater. Clint scratches the hair at the back of his neck, and tries to estimate how many millions in damage an accidental godly lightning strike would cause...  
  
"One, two, three, four, five,  
Hunt the hare and turn her down the rocky road and all the way to Dublin, whack-fol-la-de-da!"

Thor ends his song with a grand flourish of arms, and then, holding his chin high and arms spread wide, bows slowly at the waist, huge grin and gleeful eyes on his friends and Jane, as all his teammates and friends applaud.

Clint slouches backwards and smirks.  
Not bad for a first try, the guy has definite theatrical presence and zero stage fright, and he can sure tell a story.  
Karaoke night just keeps getting better and better...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've heard a dozen versions of "The Rocky Road To Dublin" but this version by the Irish Descendants: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYbXV5eMGsM&noredirect=1 with its very spare arrangement, was a huge inspiration for this chapter.
> 
> Thor sings Rocky Road to Dublin because it feels like the songs the skalds used to sing when he was a boy, from which he learned all of Asgardian history and tradition. Of course with a lifetime of warrior training, he will be a natural dancer with zero body shame. My headcanon is that Thor has always learned best with music or movement. To use terms from Gardner's 8 Intelligences or 8 Learning Styles, he would be a Musical or Kinesthetic Learner, also he would be an Interpersonal, or extroverted/social learner.  
> In comparison, I see Loki as someone who learns best Intrapersonally, or by himself, and focusing primarily on Linguistic learning and Logical-Mathematical thinking.


	14. Bruce and SCIENCE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even Bruce is a little surprised at his own courage.

Thor grins and bows to the audience, arms spread wide. Betty glances over at Bruce to gauge his reaction and is surprised to note his seat is empty. And she hadn't noticed Bruce leaving.

With a fond smile, she recalls the order of performance, and realizes she should have expected something like this. Bruce would need quiet time before attempting to perform... PERFORM. For his teammates. She shakes her head in smiling disbelief.  
Bruce having teammates he trusts this much is almost as incredible as quiet, self-effacing Bruce being willing to sing in front of them.

Thor bounces down the stage steps back to his seat and braces his arms against Jane's chair, collecting a hearty kiss. Jane bounces in excitement, totally up in his face, and grinning. Darcy comes over and hugs Thor around his abdomen, patting his abs, and he straightens up, wraps an arm around her shoulders, gives her a squeeze and another flashing white smile. Pepper and Tony are having a spirited discussion, but Betty can't hear the topic, Natasha and Clint are casually draped over Clint's chair and seem to be having another one of their silent discussions that consists mostly of glares and eyebrows moving. Agent Coulson, or Phil, Betty remembers, has his computer tablet in his lap, pretending to work, but keeps smirking alternately at Pepper and Tony or Clint and Natasha. Steve comes over, offers a smile and congratulatory hand to Thor, who grasps his forearm most heartily. Everything Thor does, seems to be done with his whole heart, Betty muses. Even after this brief an acquaintance with the man... god? Man, she decides, there is transparent good humor written all over him. 

Just as the two hunky blonds bump shoulders, JARVIS flickers the audience lights once, then again. The room quiets, and after a moment, everyone settles back in their seats.

The audience lights dim, and JARVIS brings a large projection screen down from the ceiling. The rest of the stage is as black as pitch, and there's no sign of Bruce anywhere. Betty leans forward, intensely curious.

After just a few moments, the screen lights up with an old fashioned style movie count down, flashing a slow count of numbers: 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

Blinding white fills the screen, and a quick guitar riff accompanies the animator's production credit. After just a moment, bright and familiar piano music comes from the speakers, and then Bruce's voice flashes out, though he's nowhere to be seen: 

"There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,  
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium  
And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium,  
And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium, " 

Betty hears a quick but audible breath, as the animator's colorful images flash over the projected screen.

"Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium  
And lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium  
And gold, protactinium and indium and gallium  
And iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium."

Lehrer's quick hands on the piano keys fill in the sound for two breaths.

"There's yttrium, ytterbium, actinium, rubidium  
And boron, gadolinium, niobium, iridium  
And strontium and silicon and silver and samarium,  
And bismuth, bromine, lithium, beryllium and barium."

She marvels. Bruce has found such a characteristic song, and one so quick to sing as well, only about 90 seconds long. Perfect for the nervous singer, and one she remembers well from when the two of them used to goof around in the labs, before... well, BEFORE.  
She has a moment to be wistful, then...

"There's holmium and helium and hafnium and erbium  
And phosphorous and francium and fluorine and terbium  
And manganese and mercury, molybdenum, magnesium,  
Dysprosium and scandium and cerium and caesium  
And lead, praseodymium, and platinum, plutonium,  
Palladium, promethium, potassium, polonium, and  
Tantalum, technetium, titanium, tellurium,  
And cadmium and calcium and chromium and curium."

"There's sulphur, californium and fermium, berkelium  
And also mendelevium, einsteinium and nobelium  
And argon, krypton, neon, radon, xenon, zinc and rhodium  
And chlorine, carbon, cobalt, copper,  
Tungsten, tin and sodium."

"These are the only ones of which the news has come to Harvard, ...

(Betty can hear the smile in his drawling delivery of the word)

And there may be many others, but they haven't been discovered."

Contradicting that final statement, the projection screen fills swiftly with a list of elements discovered since the late 1960's, with their dates of discovery appended in parenthesis. Lehrer plays "Shave-and-a-Haircut" for a musical period at the end of his musical sentence.

The screen clears for a moment, then animated handwriting fills the screen:

"OK, Tony, you got me to sing, now take a bow for me, will ya? I'll be backstage for the next while catching my breath.  
\--Bruce"

The lights come up on the audience, and Tony, his eyebrows raised, stands up and pivots to face the room, mockingly spreads his arms in a gesture identical to Thor's, and bows at the waist, while the team and friends all applaud for Bruce.

"Credit where credit is due, THAT man of science has an EXCELLENT singing voice, and even I won't give him any crap about it."  
Them Tony turns and calls loudly to the back of the stage, "Can't wait to see what you're gonna bring NEXT, Brucie-baby!" and winks back at the audience.

Betty swears she hears a quiet groan from the darkness. She gets up from her seat, and walks out to wait for Bruce by the hallway stage-door, knowing he won't come out till he's calm again. She can't imagine what he must be feeling right now. 

She's walking through the doorframe as Tony announces, diva that he is, that he needs several minutes to set up for his act. He starts yelling at JARVIS to start doing whatever esoteric stage effects are required, and the AI responds in a mellow British accent with a hint of huffiness to it.  
Betty smiles. She can see through the flash to the take-one-for-the-teammate gesture behind it: if Tony is pulling everyone's attention, it gives Bruce another few breaths to recover and collect himself. She feels a momentary flash of affection towards Tony. Even though he acts like an arrogant ass much of the time, he's quick and compassionate and a good friend to Bruce.

She waits by the stage door, hearing Tony being flashy and loud, looking forward to seeing Bruce's sheepish face and giving him a warm hug and quiet congratulations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist Bruce singing Tom Lehrer's The Elements…(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPq3SEteEJc) and here is the kind of countdown I imagined: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCISG0phmbw
> 
> also for fun, here's Lehrer live in Copenhagen in 1967, because I love watching his mouth. =) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcS3NOQnsQM


	15. Tony and Pepper.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony won't admit it to himself, but he's doing this mostly for Pep.

Tony turns with one last grin at the audience and walks purposefully into the blackness of the backstage.

Slow curls of smoke or fog cover Tony's retreat as they creep their way out onto the floor of the stage. Steve can just barely make out a fine hissing noise. Ah. Stage effects, he thinks, glancing around at his teammates. Tiny mechanical noises, hisses, whirs, the sound of rubber tires squeaking. A bang, a clatter, and Tony’s voice, words indistinguishable, tone affectionate but commanding. 

Clint continues to perch on the back of the sofa, but he's leaning forward, hunkered over with his elbows on his knees, and exchanging a quiet word or two in a teasing tone with Agent Coulson. Steve pretends that he can't hear every word, it's not his conversation. Darcy, Jane, and Thor are having an animated discussion, well Darcy and JANE are, while Thor looks on, amused, something to do with Bruce's performance that's just finished. Jane is gesticulating, so she must be explaining something about the science to Thor, and Darcy is swiping away at her phone while she loudly declares Bruce's awesomeness. Smiling down at the screen, she glances over while he's still looking at her, catches his eye, and grins briefly. Steve grins back, and relaxes into the sofa cushion. His phone buzzes with a text, so he fishes it out. 

Darcy's sent him a link to YouTube, a channel full of videos for a musician called Tom Lehrer, and he realizes this must be whose song Bruce just performed. Yup, there it is, Tom Lehrer - The Elements - LIVE FILM. He promises himself he'll watch it later, he's a sucker for watching live music now. It's so easy to queue up videos, it's easy to find little venues in the city with folk and rock and Darcy has mentioned a whole genre of music called "punk"... gives him a momentary twinge every time he hears the term. But he's looking forward to exploring more of NOW with his friends and with Darcy, who is also one of his friends...

ahem. He knows he must look a bit sheepish.

Ah, there, Bruce is back, settled in with Doctor Ross... Betty, he corrects himself. She's pink-cheeked with a pleased expression as she and Bruce talk together. Hawkeye waves to get Bruce's attention, Bruce looks up, and Clint flashes a grin and a "thumbs way, WAY UP" gesture. Bruce flushes a bit with that little half smile he gets sometimes. Thor also looks over and nods, smiling. Darcy and Jane crane their necks over the top of their couch, and when she sees him Darcy jumps to her feet and applauds, grinning right at Banner, who covers his face in the crook of his arm and flaps his other hand at her. But though he's obviously embarrassed, he's still smiling so Steve counts this as a major win. Getting over stage fright is no small thing, and Bruce deserves some recognition for his efforts. Steve waves, too, copying Clint's thumbs up. He's proud of Bruce, and the reactions from the rest of the team show they feel the same. Natasha observes the interactions from the comfortable chair she's still curled up in, with a faint smile. Pepper and Coulson have both checked in with Bruce. Pretty sure Bruce knows he's a hit with all of them... he's actually really smiling, laughing a little as he talks to Betty. 

Wow. This is kind of big, Steve thinks, pleased, just as the lights flicker once again and dim to performance levels. 

Tiny whirs and hums at the edge of Steve’s hearing indicates servo motors, probably specialty lighting effects, Clint whispers. Preparation noises fade to silence, the stage darkens completely before the music starts. Clint and Steve grin at each other in anticipation. 

Electronic music whips out as suddenly from the darkness as the flashing lights catch in the stage fog, stabbing out in time with the beat of the music, and Tony steps out into a perfectly timed spotlight, already singing, with a loose, casual posture:

We’re talking away,  
I don’t know… what I’m to say (He shrugs slightly, one hand on the back of his neck)  
I’ll say it anyway  
Today's another day to find you… Shying away  
I'll be coming for your love, OK?  
Take on me, (take on me) 

His rich tenor climbs upward...

Take me on, (take on me) 

Blinking. I didn’t know Tony could SING...

I'll be gone  
(Tony’s eyes close as he focuses on the music) 

wow, that’s pretty pure!

In a day or two!  
(Tony’s whole body arches forward, his throat lax and his face focused) 

Steve's jaw drops in pleased amazement. How did he hit that last high note? Marveling, Steve takes a deep breath to recover from his shock, glancing over to note that Pepper's jaw also dropped completely open when Tony hit the high note. She recovers quickly and Steve hides a smile as Tony continues.

So needless to say, I'm at odds and ends. I'll be... stumbling away  
(Tony does a mock-drunk stumble, recovers and stands strong)  
Slowly learning that life is OK  
(Tony’s got one hand his his pockets, loose and strolling, lopsidedly smiling at the team)  
Say after me, It's no better to be safe than sorry  
(His face, soft and charming, beseeches and his eyes twinkle with pure mischief)  
Take on me, (take on me)  
(he’s bouncing on his toes, cheerful and hopeful)  
Take me on, (take on me)  
I'll be gone  
In a day or two!

A fast paced musical bridge, with quick runs of electronic piano, keeps everyone entranced as Tony's workshop 'bots roll out onstage. For 30 or 40 seconds, while screens behind them flash through photos and clips of life around the Tower, Tony messes around dancing with his 'bots. All four playfully throw and catch bolts of different colored lights around, and then the bots swirl stage lights around each other and on Tony as they all move in a tight, perfectly timed choreography that has every Avenger grinning. Darcy and Clint clap and cheer loudly, whistling. Steve finds himself laughing along with Betty and, surprisingly, _Coulson_ , as the dance routine winds to a close, the music changes tempo, and Tony is caught once again by the spotlight.  


Oh, the things that you say…  
(wide gestures include the whole audience)  
Is it a life or, Just to play my worries away  
(shrugging one shoulder)  
You're all the things I've got to remember  
(tenderly, singing directly at Pepper, face open for just a moment, then...)  
You're shying away  
(he turns slightly upstage with a painful flinch of his shoulders,)  
I'll be coming for you anyway  


Tony turns back, squares his shoulders. Eyes down, he sings the rest of the song looking at her and only her from under his long lashes. Steve has never seen Tony looking even the slightest bit vulnerable until now; but unashamed and smiling slightly, Tony's swinging into the chorus, a plea, a challenge or both:  


Take on me, (take on me)  
Take me on, (take on me)  
I'll be gone  
In a day!  


...and that pure high note, Tony hits it perfectly again. Steve can feel it in his sternum, it's raising gooseflesh on his arms. Of course he did it well. Steve shakes his head. Tony is excellent at everything he puts his mind to... Just that some things aren't worth the effort.

Pepper has her hands over her mouth, tears in her eyes... her eyes are full. She's crying with pride, half laughing as she looks back up at him, singing straight at her.

Steve realizes in a flash that whatever else this song is, it's a love letter, or Tony's transformed it into one. Maybe it's a love letter and a promise. He shakes his head. The courage of this guy. Can't help but admire chutzpah like that.

I'll be gone (take on me)  
In a day...

The music sweetens, slows as the song fades out, and the lights warm and soften to house light from the dramatic, harsh stage lights. It humanizes him. Tony transitions seamlessly between performance and real life, and Steve has a moment where he realizes that THAT is Tony all over... Much more so than Howard, it's obvious Tony thrives on performance.  
But just now it is obvious that the performance is the last thing he's worried about. A tiny smile touches the corners of his mouth as he walks up to the edge of the stage, gazing down at Pepper like she's the only person in the room. There's one moment of silent respect before everyone starts applauding. More sharp whistles from Clint and Darcy, and everyone else is making as much noise as they can with their hands. Tony blinks lightning-fast and grins out at everyone, like he's just recovered and remembered they all were still there.

Tony takes a small bow, much more natural and less mocking than his earlier bow, and still grinning, waves at everyone, who are all still cheering. Steve's still clapping too, smiling and shaking his head again. This guy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has fought me and fought me. I have two and a half more chapters written after this, but they depend upon THIS chapter for setup. And I love Tony to death but he's really damn PARTICULAR about how his song would choreograph.
> 
> Also, then NaNoWriMo happened, and I did the thing, and generated 51K words, go me! Never did that before.
> 
> But I think I have a handle on almost all the rest of these chapters, and I'm hoping I won't ever have to go six months between updates again. Because this has been gnawing on my brains but not letting me WRITE it.  
> *ahem* I'm sure NOBODY else reading this knows what that's like. Um.
> 
> The point of view character just announced himself late last week, and I've been making notes and such.  
> It's time to Assemble the rest of this fic. *snerk*  
> =)
> 
> Thanks for reading, thanks for commenting, thanks SO MUCH for all the kudos, it's so much fun to know people enjoy my work.


	16. Interlude: Phil and Intermission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, Tony...

Tony hops, maybe bounces, down the stairs at the front of the stage, eyes seeking his girlfriend’s face. Pepper meets him there, at the foot of the stairs, holding his elbows and kissing him sweetly as he rests his hands on her shoulders.  
It’s a long kiss, full of affection. They pull back to look at each other, not speaking but smiling as they gaze into each other’s eyes, and their expressions seem to be maintaining an entire separate wordless conversation.

Darcy thinks they are adorable. She’s rooting for them. She’s heard some of the fights and seen some of the aftermath of those same fights, and she knows they’re going through a rough place.  
But they are so sweet together, and they obviously… just FIT. Maybe not forever, but as Tony gathers Pepper in for a hug and rests his chin on her shoulder, she finds herself hoping that they can hold it together awhile. Tony’s face is relaxed, like he got the answer he was hoping for. Pepper’s body language is warm, and she rubs slow circles on Tony’s back while they stand, heads leaned together.

Clint comes up to clap Tony on the back, and the tone of congratulation makes it to Darcy’s ears even over the low hum of everyone’s chatting, now that Intermission has been declared.

(or has it?)

Suddenly Darcy notices Coulson, that sneaky suit clad ninja, waiting at the edge of the stage near Tony and Clint. He greets them both.

“Stark. Barton.”  
It’s a tone they’ve all heard before, usually through the comms, and everyone in the room, indeed everyone in hearing range, straightens up and stops talking as their resident Man In Black effortlessly commands the room’s attention. Steve leans forward, a look of concern on his face. Thor frowns, Natasha stills, her eyes narrowing.  
Bruce takes a quiet deep breath and exhales slowly, and Betty darts a concerned look between Bruce and the small tableau at the front of the stage.

Pepper lets go of Tony on one side and opens up from their embrace so she can see. “Phil? what’s going on?”

He briefly makes eye contact with her, reassuringly, and then checks in with the rest of the team, and with a tiny gesture indicates everyone can stand down. Steve relaxes back against the couch cushion, his face smoothed out and now showing amusement as it becomes clear what’s about to occur.

Coulson glances at the ceiling. A quiet guitar and bass rhythm comes from the speakers and after a moment, he begins to speak along with the music, completely deadpan.

  
“Well I don't know why I came here tonight,  
I got the feeling that something ain't right,  
I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair,  
And I'm wondering how I'll get down the stairs,  
Clowns to the left of me,  
(he gestures at Clint, who says “hey!” in mock offense)  
Jokers to the right,  
(he lifts an eyebrow at Tony, who lifts an eyebrow back)  
here I am," (he pauses, and the recording continues)  
(stuck in the middle with you.)

"Yes I'm stuck here in the middle with you,  
And I'm wondering what it is I should do,  
It's so hard to keep this smile from my face,  
(still holding a perfect serious Agent Face)  
Losing control, yeah, I'm all over the place,  
(Clint eyerolls at Nat)  
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right,  
Here I am,"  
(stuck in the middle with you…)

There’s an unmistakable faint fondness in his face, though, on PHIL’s face, as the music gradually trails off. Darcy can’t call him Coulson right now, not with that tiny smirk, that warm look. He’s gazing at the two of them, a pair of dumbfounded and disbelieving Avengers, as the music fades.

Predictably, Tony is the first to recover. He steps forward with a quirked eyebrow and his hand extended. “Agent.” Phil takes his hand and shakes it briefly, his not-smile ghosting across his face again. “Stark.”

Clint also offers his hand to shake, with a quiet “Nice one, Boss…”  
Coulson claps him on the shoulder and turns his head to say something quietly into Clint’s ear, something that makes Clint break out into a grin, eyes crinkling.

Natasha is also smiling, as widely as she ever does. Bruce has a small smile, almost like it’s against his will.

Thor nods, arms spread wide along the back of the couch he and Jane share. “A fine jest, Son of Coul. Well met indeed!”

Tony drawls, “Well, if I didn’t know better, I’d think my A.I. was fond of you, Coulson…”  
Phil’s smile is more pronounced. “We’ve … come to an understanding, ...Tony. If you’ll excuse me.”

And as the theater lights come back up for intermission, Phil pulls his notebook computer out again, checking “karaoke night” off on his to do list, and pulling up the next piece of the endless paperwork stream. 

Tony grumbles and mutters under his breath about ungrateful children who will be donated to MIT or Cal Tech if they don’t start to show some loyalty, but his heart’s only half in it as he tries to hide his pleasure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to admit that right now, Phil is my favorite. *grin*
> 
> Again, thanks for reading, thanks for kudos or comments or any kind of feedback, it's like air in the writer's lungs.


	17. Steve and Darcy, Swing Kids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a need to tie this series up so I can work elsewhere. I never wanted to orphan this fic, had a lot of fun going over character development and thinking about what different people would choose musically. This series is probably going to finish up with mostly my notes for individual chapters, and if I have spoons I'll flesh out the notes when I can.

Chapter 20: Steve and Darcy (bonus Pepper and Phil)

Steve rubbed the back of his neck, expression uncertain and almost shy.  
"I don't know if I can pull this off, Darce..."

She grinned up at him in the dim glow of the backstage light and hitched up the huge shopping bag so she could poke him several times in the middle of his chest.  
"Did I, or did I not, tell you that I would make you look good, Rogers?"

"You did."  
"And you trust me." It wasn't a question. Her retro-red lips smirked.  
"I do."  
"All right then. The Captain has his orders, so let's get this show on the road." Darcy reached up and straightened his tie, brushed imaginary lint from his wide lapels. Laid her hand over his heart for a moment, and he flashed back to the moment in the thrift store when she had laid this navy blue pinstripe in its hanger against his chest, playfully spreading the sleeve along his arm, winking at him, saying it was just his color. He'd been stunned for a second then, her bright eyes behind the heavy frames of her glasses seeming to pierce right through him. 

He was so glad she'd dragged him along on all those shopping trips for this crazy idea of Tony's. Because with Darcy a trip to the thrift store always included an art museum, one of her coffee or comic shops, the little modern art galleries or the little lunch places she's discovered since moving to New York. She's a great companion and storyteller, with a big boisterous laugh.

He liked her, liked her too much, maybe. She was smart, and funny, flirtatious and sexy, and absolutely crazy about her music. Her enthusiasm and sarcastic friendliness put him at ease, let him forget what he was, where he'd come from. For long moments with her, he was nobody but Steve. And she liked him. She LIKED him.

The ringlets in her hair swung when she tipped her tightly-coiffed head to one side to smile up at him. "Thanks for letting me do this. Tonight is going to be so much fun!" 

She bounced in place on her gorgeous chunky green heels, frothy skirt swirling around her calves. He couldn't help but smile at the colorful picture she made. Her boisterous good humor was definitely contagious. He grinned, rocked back on his heels, and his eyebrows flirted at her momentarily. "So, 'I look incredible', huh?"

She blinked, slowly drew in a breath as she looked back into his eyes, and said quietly, deliberately holding eye contact: "Yes. Yes, you do."  
And then her mood shifted in the next nanosecond, continuing "and of course *I* look FABULOUS..." patting her hair and blotting her lips together before blowing him an exaggerated kiss. "Now get to your mark, this will be over before we even know it!" 

A quick smile thrown over her shoulder as she headed stage left had him wondering, even moreso than that moment where they were gazing into each other's eyes. Was this just flirting? He half-smiled to himself, shaking his head, and laid his hand on the stage door.

The backstage light suddenly went out, the blue stage background dimly visible through the edges of the stage door. 

No time to think, take a deep breath, there's the music cue. Hustle out there, get ready to sing!

He opened the door at backstage right and strode through just as the spotlight hit him.

 

###

Tony looks on in great interest as the blue stage lights get gradually brighter, showing a silhouetted Manhattan skyline at the far back of the scene. The blue brightens enough to show a bare stage with the suggestion of shop fronts and an old-fashioned style lamppost, which flickers and comes to life just as the audience lights dim completely. Nice touch, he thinks, with the modern-looking graffiti at the base.

Just at that moment, JARVIS starts the music. A hip-hop sounding blend of electronica and bass beats, Tony almost finds it familiar, and then the spotlight snaps onto Steve. Steve looks specTACular in fedora and wide lapel pinstripe suit, striding casually toward the front of the stage, hands in pockets, singing:

I’m gonna pop some tags  
Only got 20 dollars in my pocket  
oh, oh, I’m huntin’  
Looking for a come-up  
This is fucking AWESOME.

Tony’s in shock. Cognitive dissonance much? He’s in shock. He can’t decide whether he’s more shocked or amused by this development.

Then the second spotlight catches Darcy: stalking out in retro green heels, sassily swinging a crisp shopping bag in one hand, the skirt of her frothy pink pin-up dress swishing around her calves.  
Jane wolf-whistles at Darcy, and Clint follows suit with a piercing high note of approval. Thor is grinning widely. The stage lights simulate sunrise onstage as Darcy starts singing.

Darcy flashes a grin and wickedly bites her lip, glancing at Steve and out to the audience before starting Macklemore’s line: 

Nah, walk up to the club like, "What up? I got a big cock!"  
I'm so pumped about some shit from the thrift shop  
Ice on the fringe, it's so damn frosty  
That people like, "Damn! That's a cold ass honkey."  
Rollin' in, hella deep, headin' to the mezzanine,  
Dressed in all pink, 'cept my gator shoes, those are green  
Draped in a leopard mink, girls standin' next to me  
Mmm-Hmmm...

The rhythm continues and Darcy does a graceful catwalk pivot showing off her pretty clothes with a shoulder shrug. As part of her twirl, she pulls a lovely fur stole from her shopping bag and drapes it over her shoulders, stalking toward Steve. He catches her eye and watches, rocking back on his heels along with the rhythm, smiling as she trails her fingertips up his sleeve, across his shoulders, catching his fingertips as he swings her out into a twirl, her shopping bag swinging wide and then back in again as he twirls her back. She pats him on the chest, looking up at him with a grin before continuing stalking to stage right, singing right at Tony for a second:

Savin' my money and I'm hella happy that's a bargain, bitch  
I'm a take your grandpa's style, I'm a take your grandpa's style,  
No for real - ask your grandpa - can I have his hand-me-downs? (Thank you)

She opens back up to sing to the rest of the audience:

Velour jumpsuit and some house slippers  
Dookie brown leather jacket that I found diggin'  
They had a broken keyboard, I bought a broken keyboard  
I bought a ski blanket, then I bought a kneeboard  
Hello, hello, my ace man, my Mello (to Steve)  
John Wayne ain't got nothing on my fringe game, hell no  
I could take some Pro Wings, make them cool, sell those  
The sneaker heads would be like "Aw, she got the Velcros"

The stage lights have been gradually moving through simulated daytime hours as the song progresses, starting to look like late afternoon when Steve starts again with

I’m gonna pop some tags  
Only got 20 dollars in my pocket  
oh, oh, I’m huntin’  
Looking for a come-up  
This is fucking AWESOME.

As Steve repeats his hook in that remarkable deep singing voice, Darcy swings in with

I'm at the Goodwill, you can find me in the bins  
I'm not, I'm not stuck, I'm searchin' in that section  
Your grammy, your aunty, your momma, your mammy  
I'll take those flannel zebra jammies, second-hand, I rock that motherfucker  
The built-in onesie with the socks on that motherfucker

(Darcy pulls out a Thor onesie and dances it across the stage by its shoulders as everyone laughs)

I hit the party and they stop in that motherfucker  
They be like, "Oh, that Gucci - that's hella tight."  
I'm like, "Yo - that's fifty dollars for a T-shirt."  
Limited edition, let's do some simple addition  
Fifty dollars for a T-shirt - that's just some ignorant bitch (shit)  
I call that getting swindled and pimped (shit)  
I call that getting tricked by a business  
That shirt's hella dough!

Steve and Darcy, grinning, stand center stage, silliness mostly done but obviously enjoying themselves as Pepper and Coulson enter from either side of the stage.

Pepper has legs that go on forever in her urban chic skirt suit and high heels. She looks like she’s ten feet tall crossing the stage in front of Darcy and Steve. She scopes Steve out over the top of large retro sunglasses with her eyebrows raised… he tips his hat and nods at her with a smile, still singing and completely unphased. Darcy grins at Pepper, and Pepper winks at her before sliding her dark glasses back up her nose and exiting on the other side of the stage. Coulson, in The Suit but minus his trademark shades, walks steadily past the two, giving just enough of an approving nod and smirk to be noticed by the audience, exiting by the wings Pepper entered from.

Darcy and Steve sing together: at each other, towards each other, toward the audience, syncopating, Darcy SCATS, improvising on the theme as Steve keeps the steady bass rhythm of the hook, and the stage lights fade and blue toward evening light as the streetlight brightens up again with its earlier flickering buzz.

Theatrical stars start to twinkle above the city skyline as they come to a concluding note, gazing at each other. He offers his hand, and she takes it, grinning. They exit stage left, and he twirls her as they head offstage. A disco ball flickers at the edge of the stage as they exit, dappling their faces and clothes until the door closes behind them.

Jane jumps to her feet immediately whistling and cheering, and the rest of the team, grinning, are all applauding enthusiastically, sitting on the edges of their seats, and calling out “Steve!” or “Darcy!”

Tony leans back deeper in his comfortable couch, crosses his arms under the arc reactor, and thinks smugly what an excellent idea he’s had with this whole karaoke business. This is going even better than he’d thought it would.


End file.
